Kabul Cassanova, or, How I got my status as the second wife-

Day Twenty-three: My plans to secure a gym membership are entirely thwarted when suicide bombers blow up my prospective gym. Likewise, my plans to sleep in on my day off are destroyed, not by the initial explosion, which I manage to sleep through, but by the ensuing gunbattles. Some snipers head up to our roof but we're not in the prime sniping location. One of the Afghan military takes refuge in our hotel momentarily-

Soldier: (enters lobby)
Hotel Employee: What are you doing? You're a soldier! Get out there!
Soldier: You don't have heat in here? (exits)

I accept it as a sign to put off my exercise regiment and spend the day smoking and eating cake.

Later on in the day Anandi, Abdullah, Nasr, and I go out for dinner and some live music. We stop by Safi Landmark / City Centre, and it looks as destroyed as it did on television. Back home, Abdullah donates a kevlar vest to the littlest MOI soldier outside.

Why my safety is usually ensured:
I attained status as Abdullah's second wife early on here, when I started joining him and Anandi on excursions. It's in my favor, and Abdullah used to be something of a Kabul cassanova, so it isn't a stretch for his character.
I look Afghani, dress Afghani, stick to Afghani places, and move around with Afghans, so when the media says foreigners are being targeted, chances are, they're not talking about me.

News from Chicken Street...

I took up residence in a hotel around the corner from chicken street. I guess I've been here about five days or so.

Five days ago, in the Frankfurt airport:

Customs officer: Kabul? (Something in German.)
Me: Yes. For Work.
Customs officer: (Something in German.)
Me: ...
Him: For Uncle Sam?
Me: For Uncle...Karzai?

My new job is confusing for all of us.

Incidentally, I am missing my first day of work right now. Something complex and political is going on and every single road I need to take to get there is closed. Instead I'm eating a hummus sandwich at my favorite new restaurant.

Anyways, here's an update-

The Good News: After a week or whatever amount of time has gone by, there have been no attempted kidnappings and I still have all my limbs. The food is great and they believe in overeating here.

The New Threats: The gas heaters potentially give off carbon monoxide and poison you. This is especially dangerous in places like showers, where as I understand it steam forces the gas down and you pass out in there and die. The owner of my hotel has lost some millions of dollars in embezzled money to gambling debts. Rumor has it the lobby has seen a shootout in recent times.

The Bad News: No internet at home. Gotta move.

Things I thought I might write about if my computer battery wasn't going to die-

How I unwittingly booked the first nonstop flight from Frankfurt to Kabul and the departure gate party that followed.
My new sitcom idea, Anandi & Abdullah.
Afghani home visit.
Nasr's stories about the time of the Soviets and the time of the Mujahideen.
My first domestic dispute in Kabul.
The British pub.

A little flashback-

Day Zero (2 Feb 2010 or somewhere around there): My Afghan visa arrives in the mail. I'm mystified that these things just get handed out.

Day One: I take a leave of absence from grad school.

Day Two: I solidify the lying process to my parents and several others to protect them from my new decision. I claim to be going to Paris, Frankfurt, India. Two of those are true.

Day Nine: I'm on a plane to France. I visit some friends I met in Tanzania five years ago. They feed me and shelter me and do all the work. I see some famous stuff.

Day Thirteen (now): I'm sitting in the Frankfurt airport waiting for my flight to Kabul.